I haven’t counted how many Kickstarter portraits I’ve yet to paint because I think I might start to hyperventilate. I prefer to count the check marks as each one is finished and marked on my Excel spreadsheet. (Note to fellow list-makers: Excel is awesome, am I right?)

I really have no method for picking which one I’m going to work on next. Maybe it’s one of the first people to send in a photo. Maybe I recognize the name from Twitter. Maybe I liked the story that came with it, or the fact that the person lives in Austria or I just liked the picture.

I try to paint two at a time for efficiency, so I often choose two clients completely unrelated that I think would work well with the same colors, like these two below. I hope she doesn’t mind that I painted her hair kind of blue. I just liked it that way.

Awhile back my friend Jenny, The Bloggess*, wrote about meeting Neil Gaiman and summed up her anxiety by saying, “the only thing more terrifying than the thought of never meeting your idols is the thought of them actually having to meet you.” And I’m all, yeah! That! Because it’s exactly that thought that makes me all palm-sweaty every time one of my idols comes to town and I’m faced with the opportunity to stand in line for autographs or something. I mean, what will I say that doesn’t sound trite and haven’t they heard it all before?

And I wonder how our idols feel about the whole autograph-signing, picture-taking phenomenon, from the other side. A few times I’ve met people in social situations that recognized me from posts on The Pioneer Woman and I always think, god, so sorry to disappoint you but I’m just a doughy, awkard, 38-year old mom with anxiety disorder hiding behind this here glass of cabernet. Let’s tweet.

What is it that makes us want to connect with people that inspire us? And how can we fangirls do this without looking like total tools is what I want to know. Because even though I worked up the nerve (cab free!) to meet Ree Drummond at a book signing once, my crippling social anxiety prevented me from doing more than meekly tweeting *hello* to Neil Gaiman from the audience when he was in Portland for An Evening With Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer.

Last night Dr. Rossman and I went to Oregon Symphony featuring Storm Large, someone I have a serious girl crush on and whose music I often listen to while painting. The show was fucking magical and amazing and I’ll be damned if she didn’t get the largely senior citizen crowd to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart during the encore, which is not only magical and amazing, but nearly unthinkable. I cannot say enough about this performance and I will buy tickets to see her sing a million more times. Love.

After the show she was signing books and CDs and since the line was short in the small venue (I despise crowds nearly as much as awkward social interactions with individuals) and since I was fueled by a couple cocktails (if we’re being honest) I marched right up there in my Betty Draper swing coat and got her autograph and asked a random stranger to take our photo together. (Thanks random stranger.) I managed to squeak something about being an artist and listening to her music in my studio.

It made my night.

*See how I casually said, “my friend Jenny” here? It’s totally for dramatic effect, because we’ve never met in person, but I’ve painted her and also she named my giant taxidermy goose Bram Stoker so in internet-speak I think that means we’re friends. I think.

One of my favorite clients, Dru, recently had a catered birthday party that raised $1100 for Canine Angels. The food was provided by Just Food For Dogs and as a thank-you, Dru and his mom Amy gifted a few of this friends at Just Food For Dogs with portraits.

This is Dru.

And these are his friends.

Today was a glorious spring-like day – the kind that tempts eager Oregonians to put out their upholstered patio furniture or pack their sweaters in the attic. My son left the house with a neighborhood friend at 7 a.m. and they played outside all day like back in olden times (when I was a kid.) They came in to refuel about 12 hours later, covered in leaves and grime because they had been camouflaging themselves in an embankment like Peeta in the Hunger Games.

I took the opportunity – and the peace and quiet – to get some painting done. I decided to do a second entry for the Dark Shadows art contest judged by Tim Burton. My first one was a Day of the Dead version, and this one is more traditional.

Barnabas Collins and Dark Shadows are property of Warner Bros. Browse all entries at deviantart.com.

I love shoe-horning these just-for-fun projects in with my commissioned work, just to keep the juices flowing, you know?

Besides, there are a lot worse things to do on a Saturday than sit around and paint Johnny Depp.

I love Johnny Depp. I love Tim Burton. I love Helena Bonham Carter. That’s why when I received an email from deviantART about a Dark Shadows art contest, it was like it was made for me.

The Barnabas Portrait Project solicits fan art depicting Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. And get this – it will be judged by Tim Burton.

Here is my first entry. Since Barnabas is a vampire, I thought he would be a err… natural subject for a Day of the Dead portrait.

Original painting by me. Barnabas Collins character is property of Warner Bros.

You can browse the rest of the entries here.

Maybe I will get crazy and do another straight-up portrait to enter this weekend. I mean, can you imagine Tim Burton looking at your work?

I die.